Anger??

I feel like maybe I'm getting angry. I'm not mad at anyone. Especially not God!  I could never be angry at him. I was so very blessed for so many years. So well protected. I should've not had the life I did. I went through a time where I was not a very good person. Not a good mother. Not a good wife. Not really a good anything. It was all about me. All about what I wanted. What made me feel good. Didn't matter if it hurt anyone else.  My husband was battling his own demons too!  But then God reached out to me where I was and pulled me back to his arms and it changed my life. And it changed my husbands life too. I'm so very thankful for that. I now known where my husband is. I know that someday we will be together in eternity. That comforts me. Knowing that he is no longer in pain. He can run like he's wanted to do for so long. Wow!  I just realized that thanks to God this took a very different turn. It sure doesn't sound like I'm angry. I have not reach the stage of acceptance. That's where I need to go!